I actually haven't had a key to the little heart-shaped lock in years - I think I lost it within a week of buying the silly thing (pictured below) at Just Next Door in Auburndale, the card and gift shop where I used to work when I was in High School.
I bought it in the Fall of the year 2000, and the first entry includes a confession that I was crushing on everyone's favorite Floridian, who at the time was just the cutest bass in Concert Choir, and who I'm sure my fifteen year old self could never have imagined one day calling a roomie-for-life thanks to our summer on ACK with Rox (short for Rocco, obv).
Anywho. After I'd lost the little key I'd had to break the lock so I could still access all of my deepest darkest secrets and the other fluff I started to fill the pages of the little diary with, but I rigged it so it would look like the lock was still effective, and I like to imagine that that rigging successfully kept potential spies (ie, my little siblings or my mom) at bay and my inner most thoughts protected in the 8 years the diary was housed at my home in Newton, MA.Now that I'm fulltime New York Naugs, with a one year lease and no stay longer than a few days to a week long back in Newton anytime in the foreseeable future, I really think I'll be fine leaving the diary unlocked, it was just such a shock to have the little metal pieces break apart as I went to write a bit this morning about the week to come.
And - currently even more attuned to signs the Universe is sending my way than I usually am / have always been - I can't help but wonder... what does this meeeean?!?!? Have I just freed my thoughts? Or playing on the theme of the wording on the colorful cover, have I found the key to loving my life? Is the love of my life now open? There's no denying, the heart lock is broken, and something tells me that's a good thing.
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