Sunday, April 12, 2015

Well that's like a metaphor...

Oh hey.

Happy 2015 blogosphere, internets, (sister)friends, Romans, countrymen.

Do 30 year olds blog?  Do I?

I'm not sure, but I put "write a blog post" on my syllabus for the first 14 days of April, and in true procrastinator form it's getting to be about that now or never time, so here we are.

And here's what's new:

I've thrice faced rejection in the past month, and that burns.  You know?  Like I'm glass half full kind of girl, I know not getting this, that, and the other thing for the months of June, July and August only mean that that in that time whatever's supposed to happen for me will happen, and I've been auditioning for 25 years now and not reached Disney star or even guest star status, my IMDB page exists, but it's bleak, so like...rejection's been the name of a big portion of my game for a quarter century now, I realize it comes with the territory, and I celebrate the wins when they come that much more fully because I can compare them to the losses, but none the less, this little triumvirate of "try harder next time's" had me walking around with this song from The Wedding Singer in my head and specifically the line: "when life gives you garbage, you use it to cliiiii--iiii--iiiiimb."

Typical.

So then today I woke up in particularly sunny LA, and put on a "spring sweater" I haven't worn since last year and realized I wanted to wear earrings that matched it, and decided when I grabbed the earrings from my jewelry box that I'd also grab the three delicate necklaces that have been sitting entangled there since last April.

I had wanted to wear one of them last year when I went to watch my mom's best friend run the Boston Marathon, so I packed it and these other two when I flew home for easter, and lo, they were a tangled mess by the time I'd landed in Logan, so I didn't get to wear that one then and I haven't been able to wear any of the three for the past year.  Because the tangled mess just felt like it was too much for me to tackle.  It was the sort of clusterfuck you'd bring to a Meisner class to get lost in the action of untangling so you could let your emotion run free when your scene partner burst into the room with their all important want.

And maybe the fact is as simple as I just haven't wanted to let my emotions run free for the past year.  But this morning: voila, my fingers pulled the silver chains apart with ease, and not surprisingly the last pendant to be freed was the one that said "Boston Strong."


Cause "that's like a metaphor."  Another line in that song from the Wedding Singer.

You heard it here first.  GoldilocksNYC will be trading in the sunshine for the idea of settling in (not necessarily settling down) on the other side of the country July 1st.

It's time to go home.  I have everything I need, and nothing that I don't.