Monday, November 15, 2010

Wisdom from the blissfully wed - warning this one's not that funny

Sometimes when you are turning 26 on the 27th you find yourself in a stage of life that is very much full of marriage talk. So this weekend on Friday I received a text from my best friend from kindergarten was she was proposed to by her boyfriend of 8 years, on Saturday I attended my little brother's engagement party at a lovely home on Center Street in Newton just across from the BC Law/Freshman Campus, and on Sunday I helped my mother pick out a card and an outfit for the wedding she was originally asked to be ordained for and preside over between our dear family friend and her 15 year senior fiance who had decided two weeks ago that one morning this month they'd like to make it official in the back yard of their house in Ayer either out on a canoe or just at the bank of the pond that they live on.

These are the most prevalent marriage-themed occurences of the weekend, but give me a minute to count here...yes, I would have to say between Friday evening and this morning, marriage/proposals/divorce/the shit or get off the pot point in a relationship/engagements/and the case for remaining single have come up at least 12 other times in my conversations with the various friends I've seen, chatted or email corresponded with. In 72 hours, 72 divided by 12, that's once every 6 hours, right?

Yeah, I mean, it's out there. And it's on people's minds. All the time. And obviously more so in Boston than NYC - city of singles, city of people searching not for love but for success, and committing not to partners in life but partners in business. C'est la vie, I supposed.

The wisdom from the blissfully wed I received was twofold. First, from the father of my brother's bride to be, who welcomed everyone to the engagement party with a few words of advice for my little bro that basically summed up to be: "brace yourself buddy, women are bitches, and you're in this for the long haul now. you'll have my support if you want to sneak upstairs to watch the basketball game so you don't have to shmooze down here with all of your future in-laws, but you'd best know you're going to be answering to my daughter if you do that and she's going to be none to happy in spite of whatever catchphrase she lobs coded your way." He was explaining how "nothing" never means nothing, and a loud sigh would be "i can't believe what an idiot you are" were it to be replaced with words spoken by the woman uttering it.

Charming, no? Rather apocalyptic really. But he's a good ol' boy, and there was a heartfelt line he wound up leaving out when he threatened to get choked up by it toward the closing of his little comedy routine, so ultimately, we all cheered for his chauvinism and appreciated the toast he encouraged everyone to make to these two coming together to start life as man & wife...

Later that same evening, I was catching up with the first of my homefriends to get married, and he was laughing at the triviality of the "dating" that we 20somethings are doing these days. "What's the point? If you're not really ready to get married, or to be engaged to be engaged, why not just all stay friends and makeout with each other?" He mused. Because our friend who's recently committed to a relationship was lamenting not being able to hit on the one uber flirtactious, skankily clad, noteworthiestly drunk girl there in the minutes before his own gorgeous girlfriend walked through the door looking stunning even in her grey sweatshirt.

And the married friend had a point, I thought. And if I might add, he also seemed perfectly pleased to be out with the boys for a bit but ultimately heading home happily to his wife of 6 months. And that was so delightful to see. **Check out the feature on his fairytale wedding in Newport Wedding Magazine, btw to see wedded bliss in its fullest :) Could not have been happier for him this May. I'm thinking I much prefer his perspective than my brother's future father in laws.

I'm all for having fun as a single gal for now, however there's ultimately going to be nothing better than finding the one and making a go of it with him. That said, I was laid up on the couch this morning with a bit of a stomach bug after spending the weekend eating everything under the sun that is so not a part of the south beach diet, and I opted to take a 2pm bus back to the city instead of sitting nauseous on one for four plus hours starting at 5am, so now I am drinking tea my mother made me out of a mug that says "love the moment" and "I do."

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