Just when you thought she couldn't get any better

my crazy-assed landlady (who has accused me of trying to play games with her by asking for my security deposit back when I no longer wanted to stay through January after she questioned whether I was attempting to sneak a live-in boyfriend *aka my bff who spent two nights here in early September* into my 9 x 11 windowless, kitchenless, basement studio and then told me she feared it would appear to our neighbors that I was running a brothel out of said studio the weekend my two best girlfriends from Boston came to stay here) apparently thinks I'm in the market to buy in Manhattan.

That's right, the gem I found in my inbox today is below:


And the first question this begs is, did she think I'd see the maintenance fee of $666/month and jump on the offer????
Because I didn't. I saw the maitenance fee of $666/month and jumped to the conclusion that I have been right all along and there is a very good chance that this woman is the DEVIL.
Hold on a second. I need to backtrack and stop slandering while I'm at it. This landlady is otherwise a seemingly sweet woman. A newly wed, real-estate agent, who went to India to see the Taj Mahal and spend a few days in an Ashram the same week I was eat, pray, loving my way through Italy. She believes in Karma and botox and dyeing her eyebrows and eyelashes and injecting collagen into her "louie" lips. And when we first spoke the terms of our agreement (that I'd commit to living here for through the holidays and then go month to month starting after the New Year) I really appreciated the offer she made me to pull listings of apartments that promised to have lower rents than the ones I would have been looking to sign leases on for September or October move-in dates.
But, that was then, and this is now. It's 4 days from the 15th which is the date she called me on the 1st of the month to ask if I would be willing to move out of by so that she could effectively rent out her duplex in its entirety (her upstairs apartment and my little box in the basement). She'd had an offer from someone who would like to move in and rent the unit (my space included). Then she told me she would likely know if the rental was going to go through by Friday of last week (the 5th). Then Saturday the 6th came, then Sunday the 7th, Monday the 8th, Tuesday the 9th (when I emailed her to check in), Wednesday the 10th and today the 11th, Thursday, when I left her a voicemail saying I would be happy either way (content to move out next Monday and spend an extended holiday with the fam before moving into my new beautiful, bright, big apartment near Columbia on Jan 1 or content to stay here through the holidays the way we'd initially agreed) but could she please let me know what her plans are for the apartment.
And now I'm waiting and waiting (and mind you, I can hear this woman through the wall our apartments share, so I know she's been around all day working from home, making calls, yadayadayada), but I've got nothing. Nothing from her.
But this damn mass email about the time to buy being now. People, am I losing it here? Or, is my bgf from Boston right am I the sorrily unknowing participant in a bizarro social experiment??
Gotta bounce - I'm doublebooked with Birthday Parties this evening. I love November in New York.