1. if you get a funny feeling the tree looks like it's going to fall over....it's going to fall over
2. if you put Mario Lopez and Melissa Joan Hart in a Hallmark Christmas movie together....you get an instant classic
3. if she hadn't heard a contestant on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" say she had "a height thing" my mother may have been more worried that I was my own worst bachelorettenemy
4. if Nanny Janny says she has the same jacket I complement her on in gray and she'll bring it to me tomorrow what she means is she's glad I like the one she was wearing:
which is warm and modern and plum colored and just my size, but she wouldn't mind giving me this one:
5. it's official, 28 is synonymous with adulthood.
6. if my mother was Melissa Joan Hart in "Holiday in Handcuffs," she'd kiss A.C. Slater
7. Annie Camden on the TV show ruined my mother's life by having those damn twins because she'd already had her tubes tied
8. i am notsogood at hiding the glass pickle
9. i had my furry gray jacket from nanny hanging over the chair in the den my mother is supposed to sit in awkwardly when she needs a break from being horizontal over the course of these ten days and it scared the s*** out of her when she walked into the dark den just now
10. my sorellina is destined to date this boy Johnny McSomethingIrishSounding she knows at BC right now
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