Merry Naugmas

Many of my girlfriends have at least a glass of wine a night and are no stranger to the "woops I polished off that bottle of 3 buck chuck" phenomenon.

I had never drank by myself however until last night.  When I realized it was the last night I'd have on my own in 2011 (from here on out it's holiday gatherings, nights home at my parents' with my siblings & puppy, and hosting out of towners visiting for NYE in NYC) I decided to have myself a merry little Naugmas and dip into (drink) the birthday bottle of Malbeck the nice waitress at Jadis sent me home with last month while watching The Holiday.

I also, full disclosure, took an intermission and grabbed a single dogfish head 60 minute IPA from the bodega on the corner, and better yet, I took notes throughout the viewing on the things I loved about the movie...  scrawled in chickenscratch, I think they say...

1. The character Iris
2. The hot guy who almost sits beside her on the plane
3. That Jim from The Office has a bit part 
4. That Cameron's character can't cry
5. That that fucker Jasper texts Iris the second she's seated and ready for take off
6. That Cameron's character has Atonement with her in first/business class
7. That Iris drives along the same LA strips I did this June
8. Cameron staying on her feet just barely the way I did when I nearly fell on my face in front of my crush John Paul last Wednesday 
9. That I made it through 3/4 a bottle of birthday wine and a beer from the bodega before 11pm
10. That Jude Law can play "non d-bag" ala my fave gay chorus boy/one-day leading man who REALLY pulls off straight
11. Kate waking up in Amanda's bed mirroring my every morning in LA on Iovate's dime 
12. That Jasper rouses Iris from her LA wakeup with a request for her to ______ on his career
13. VOM
14. How much Jude Law's beauty in the breakdown buddy looks like Paul Rudd
15. That Cameron's character has a Lexus SUV
16. Jude Law's line: "I sew and I have a cow in the back yard.  How's that to relate to?"
17. Jack Black's confrontation with the girl cheating on him
18. Iris giving him water when he asks for something stronger
19. How I cried when Cameron as Amanda _____ "welcome back" cried

The _____'s are place holders for where I can't read my own writing, and I think it becomes ENTIRELY clear that I had all that wine and the beer when I switch from calling Kate Winslet by her character's name to calling Cameron Diaz by her's around #11. 

This was a fun exercise.  I highly recommend it.  I also think I need to make a point of going back to California before too long and checking out the English countryside one of these days.

Love.

Changing the channel

I'm not much of a TV watcher.

Haven't been since high school really. Maybe even middle school.

I mean, I love sitcoms, don't get me wrong. I want to BE on one. I think I'm LIVING in one (take for example how the first person to view my marshmallow me featuring Xenadrine spot was - seemingly inevitably - my infamous ex) and I watch them and TV news magazines ranging from The Today Show to TMZ whenever the time of day allows on the cardio machines at the gym, but I don't watch anything regularly.

So tonight, it's not surprising to me that another handful of my friends will text/call/email to say they've spotted me sporting my light and dark blue bikinis at the Malibu mansion mid whatever programming they happen to be watching on Comedy Central, Lifetime, Bravo or MTV, but I've got my coil bound printouts of past drafts of The Book spread out on the table in my living room, and I'm outlining my next few months worth of work to be done on edits, agent research and proposal submissions.

Summer's over. Time to change the channel from actress/sister/friend to writer again.

Oh hey guys

Here I am in Malibu, living if only for a moment, the life of a glamorous Hollywood star.

I'm wearing a fuzzy white robe over my cobalt blue bikini, glam eyes, big hair, and my nice flat stomach and shapely legs courtesy of the mystery product I was hired to endorse back when I was rather hefty at the beginning of the year.

The crew buzzing around the ex-bachelorette's mansion where we're on location filming today and tomorrow is ginormous. There's tons of PAs, and lighting folks, there's a director, an art director, 20 extras aka beautiful people who haven't needed the help of little blue pills to get them Hollywood Hill ready, hair & makeup artists and stylists who I only wish I could have subbed out for an all-ENNIS crew, but still, delights to work with...

The mountain we're atop is amazingly picturesque - this whole thing's surreal beyond means. I've been bitten for sure, eh?

(Our product is made in Canada so a big part of the creative and fitness coaching team is a contigency with the real deal accents).

Anyway - this post is on my recurring nomadic thought that were I ever to wind up homeless, mark my words, I'd make my way along Rte 66 all the way out to California. Because LA, even doomed with June Gloom, is one heck of a place to land.